By Randy Vogt, Director of Public Relations, Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association

October 21, 2026-The U.S. Soccer National B License Course is in a blended format and is hosted by the Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association (ENYYSA) and the Fox Soccer Academy in Warwick next year.

The “B” is a 6-month online and in-person course. It combines an online experience, assignments, small group meetings, independent learning and two 4-day in-person meetings. The course is designed to help coaches who work in elite-level training and playing platforms.

The course starts on January 4, 2027, with in-person meetings on March 9-12 and May 11-14 at the Fox Soccer Academy and the course concludes on June 20. 

Register here.

Any questions can be directed to Eastern New York’s Director of Coaching, Tim Bradbury.

With over 100,000 youth soccer players––both boys and girls––and more than 25,000 volunteers, the non-profit Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association (ENYYSA) stretches from Montauk Point, Long Island to the Canadian border, east of Route 81. ENYYSA encourages the healthy development of youth players, coaches, referees and administrators. All levels of soccer are offered––from intramural, travel team and premier players as well as Children With Special Needs. No child who wants to play soccer is turned away. ENYYSA is a proud member of US Soccer and US Youth Soccer. For more information, please log on to http://www.enysoccer.com/

By Tim Bradbury, Director of Coaching, Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association

Having spent more than 30 years coaching and educating coaches in both formal and informal environments, I can honestly say that I have witnessed many highlights and more than a few lowlights.

What frustrates me most is that so many of the mistakes I witnessed decades ago continue to appear on soccer fields today. I wish I could say that we had evolved, that we had learned from our mistakes, and that the challenges facing young players were new ones. Unfortunately, in many cases, we seem determined to repeat the same mistakes year after year.

One area that continues to cause me considerable concern is the halftime team talk.

Why is it that so many otherwise sensible coaches seem to abandon everything we know about teaching and learning the moment the halftime whistle blows?

Perhaps it is the emotion of the game. Perhaps it is an inability to manage frustration. Perhaps it is the mistaken belief that effective coaching means providing a constant stream of instructions. Or perhaps coaches simply forget that the players standing in front of them are children with limited capacities to process, remember and act upon large amounts of information.

Whatever the reason, the result is frequently the same: players return to the field with their brains scrambled, their confidence diminished and their ability to solve problems independently seriously compromised.

THE HALF-TIME PANTOMIME

You would have to search long and hard to find a weekend of youth soccer where you did not witness halftime talks displaying several of the following characteristics:

1. Information overload. Coaches deliver so many observations, corrections and instructions that players have little chance of remembering any of them. If everything is important, nothing is important.

2. Confusion disguised as coaching. The talk jumps from defending to attacking, from individual mistakes to team shape, and from one tactical issue to another, with little structure or clarity. Players return to the field more confused than when they left it.

3. Emotion replacing education. Frustration, anger and disappointment dominate the conversation. Rather than inspiring players to embrace the second half, the coach succeeds in draining their enthusiasm and enjoyment.

4. Cognitive overload. The sheer volume of words and instructions overwhelms players’ working memory. Instead of helping them recognize and solve the problems they encountered in the first half, the coach makes those problems seem even more complicated.

5. Commands replacing thinking. Players are told where to stand, when to pass, when to press and what decisions to make. Little opportunity is provided for them to reflect, analyze or develop their own solutions. We claim to want intelligent, independent players and then spend halftime doing all their thinking for them.

6. Players becoming spectators in their own learning. The very people who have just experienced the game are rarely invited to share their observations. The coach talks, the players listen and the opportunity to develop understanding through reflection and discussion disappears.

7. Conflicting messages from the sidelines. As players return to the field, parents frequently add their own tactical instructions, sometimes directly contradicting what the coach has just said. Imagine being nine years old and trying to reconcile three different opinions about what you should do with the ball!

8. Too many adults, too many messages. Assistant coaches and other well-intentioned adults sometimes feel compelled to contribute their own observations without listening carefully to what has already been communicated. The result is a collection of disconnected, and occasionally contradictory, instructions.

And then we wonder why young players struggle to make decisions!

Perhaps we should spend less time questioning their soccer intelligence and more time examining the environments we create for them.

A BETTER WAY: THE RULE OF THREE PLUS ONE

If we genuinely believe that soccer is a thinking game, and that players learn through experience, reflection and problem-solving, then our halftime conversations must reflect those beliefs.

I suggest a simple approach built around what I call the Rule of Three Plus One.

The principle is straightforward: a maximum of three clear team messages, supported by meaningful observations, plus one individual development focus for each player.

However, the success of this approach depends on what happens before the game, during the first half and throughout the halftime conversation.

1. Start before the game begins

Effective halftime coaching starts with effective pregame preparation. Before kick-off, establish a maximum of three clear team objectives connected to your intended style of play. For example:

• Can we support the player on the ball by creating good passing angles?
• Can we recognize opportunities to switch the point of attack and exploit space?
• Can we get sufficient players into attacking positions when we penetrate the opponent’s defensive lines?

These objectives should be communicated clearly before the game so that players understand what they are attempting to achieve.

In addition, each player should have one individual development focus. This might relate to first touch, scanning, body position, communication or another technical or tactical behavior.

The important point is that half-time should not become an opportunity to introduce a completely new collection of objectives. It should primarily be an opportunity to reflect on the challenges and successes associated with the objectives already established.

2. Observe with intention

Throughout the first half, coaches should observe the game with their agreed objectives in mind. Rather than simply reacting emotionally to every misplaced pass or missed opportunity, gather information that helps determine whether the team is making progress.

Where appropriate, substitutes can be involved in recording simple observations, such as:

• The highest number of consecutive passes completed.
• The number of occasions the team successfully switches the point of attack.
• The number of passes that break an opponent’s defensive line.
• The number of occasions players create numerical overloads.
• The number of players supporting attacks in dangerous areas.

This has the added benefit of keeping substitutes engaged in the game and encouraging them to become thoughtful observers.

Statistics should never become an obsession, and numbers without context can be misleading. However, a few carefully selected observations can provide useful evidence to support a meaningful halftime discussion.

3. Let the players speak first

This is perhaps the most important part of the entire process. When the players arrive at halftime, resist the temptation to immediately launch into your observations. Give them a brief opportunity to recover, have a drink and collect their thoughts.

Then invite them to discuss the first half in small groups or within their team units. Ask questions such as:

• What were we trying to achieve, and how successful were we?
• What problems did the opposition create for us?
• What solutions have we discovered, and what might we try differently?

Allow players to share their thoughts and invite a few representatives to report back to the larger group. Listen carefully.

You may be surprised by how much the players have noticed, how accurately they can describe the challenges they face and how creative their proposed solutions can be.

After all, they are the ones playing the game. They have experienced the pressure, recognized the spaces and made the decisions. Surely their observations deserve to be heard before ours?

4. Apply the rule of three

Having listened to the players, the coach can now contribute a maximum of three clear and concise team messages. Ideally, these should reinforce the objectives established before the game.

For example: “We spoke before the game about supporting the player on the ball. Our longest sequence of passes was three. What could we do to create better passing options and help us keep possession long enough to build an attack?”

Notice the difference between this approach and simply shouting: “We need to pass the ball better!”

The first provides context, evidence, and an opportunity for thought. The second provides little more than a command.

Remember that three is a maximum, not a target. If one important point is sufficient, make one point. The aim is not to demonstrate how much the coach knows. The aim is to help the players understand what matters.

5. Add the plus one: individual development

In addition to the team messages, make every effort to provide each player with brief, meaningful feedback on the individual objective established before the game.

For example: “Your first touch has been positive, but can you make your next touch take the ball away from pressure?”

Or: “You have been finding good spaces to receive. Now see whether you can scan earlier so you know your next action before the ball arrives?”

This feedback should be specific, manageable and connected to the player’s development. It does not require a lengthy conversation. Indeed, a few well-chosen words are often considerably more valuable than a prolonged lecture.

When time is limited, these individual conversations can take place while players are resting, during substitutions or at other suitable moments throughout the game.

6. Let the players have the final word

Before returning to the field, give the players another opportunity to speak. Ask them to identify the most important things they want to carry into the second half.

Perhaps ask: “What are the two things we are going to concentrate on?” Or: “What will we do differently if we face the same problem again?”

Their answers provide an immediate indication of whether the conversation has created clarity or confusion. More importantly, they reinforce the idea that the players have ownership of their performance and responsibility for solving the challenges the game presents.

Let the players speak first and last. After all, it is their team and their game.

LESS TALKING, MORE THINKING

We frequently hear coaches talk passionately about developing intelligent players, encouraging decision-making and creating player-centered environments. Yet the behaviors displayed during halftime often contradict these ambitions.

If we want players who can think independently, we must provide opportunities for independent thought. If we want players who can solve problems, we must resist the temptation to solve every problem for them. If we want players who take ownership of their development, we must give them a genuine voice in the learning process.

There is also an important lesson here from cognitive load theory. Working memory has a limited capacity. When we bombard young players with too much information, particularly in emotionally charged environments, we risk overwhelming the very cognitive processes they need to understand and apply our messages.

The solution is not simply to speak more slowly or repeat the same instructions more loudly. The solution is to become more selective, more intentional and more thoughtful about what we say, when we say it, and why we say it.

Halftime should be a moment of clarity, reflection, encouragement and renewed purpose. Not a lecture. Not an emotional outburst. And certainly not an exercise in demonstrating the tactical brilliance of the adults.

Perhaps the ultimate test of an effective half-time talk is not how much the coach has said, but how clearly the players understand what they intend to do next.

The next time you gather your players at halftime, ask yourself one simple question:

Am I helping these players think more clearly, or am I simply scrambling their brains?

By Tim Bradbury, Director of Coaching, Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association

Good coaches are holistic coaches.

They see the players they are trying to teach not simply as young athletes, but as people. In fact, they see them as people first and players second.

They care about the development of the whole person and recognize an important reality: while very few of the young players we coach will become professional athletes, every one of them will become an adult. They will become colleagues, friends, partners, parents, leaders and members of society.

Once a coach truly understands this, coaching becomes about far more than teaching technique and tactics. It becomes something much more significant.

It becomes the responsibility of leading and developing people.

COACHING IS LEADERSHIP

One could argue that, with all the influences and distractions surrounding young people today, the ability to be an effective leader of people may be every bit as important as having a deep knowledge of the game.

Young people are constantly receiving messages about what success looks like and what behaviors are acceptable. At times, those messages can suggest that winning, status, money or personal gain matter more than honesty, responsibility and respect.

Sports are certainly not immune.

Players see professional athletes cheat to gain an advantage. They see adults abuse officials. They see coaches manipulate rules in pursuit of results. They see public figures behave poorly while continuing to receive attention, admiration and rewards.

Against that background, the youth coach has an enormous opportunity — and responsibility.

What are we teaching through the environment we create?

Because whether we recognize it or not, our players are watching us.

They notice how we respond when we lose.

They notice how we treat referees.

They notice whether we keep our promises.

They notice how we speak to the strongest player and how we treat the player who is struggling.

They notice whether our behavior changes when winning is at stake.

In other words, our values are not what we put on a poster. Our values are what our players repeatedly see us do.

DO COACHES UNDERSTAND THEIR RESPONSIBILITY?

When teaching coaching courses, I am often concerned when topics such as Leading the Player, Leading the Team, ethics, values and morality in sport are introduced.

The concern is not that coaches disagree with their importance. Rather, it is that many have never really stopped to consider the enormous responsibility they have as a role model, teacher and leader.

We spend countless hours discussing formations, techniques, tactics, session design and game models.

Perhaps we should spend a little more time asking:

What kind of people are we helping to develop?

So, to be very specific and to the point:

Every youth coach should have an acute awareness of the core values that provide the foundation for everything they do with their team and players.

Those values should be carefully considered.

They should be genuinely believed.

They should be regularly discussed.

Most importantly, they should be lived.

Core values should influence how you coach, communicate, make decisions, respond to mistakes, manage conflict, select teams, deal with parents and behave on game day.

If they do not influence your actions, they are not really core values.

A CHALLENGE FOR EVERY YOUTH COACH

Take a blank piece of paper and list the five core values that you believe underpin the way you coach.

Then, alongside each value, identify at least three specific behaviors or actions that demonstrate how that value comes alive within your team.

For example:

CORE VALUE: HONESTY

1. Lead by example.
If I make a mistake, I acknowledge it. If I miss a session or fail to deliver something I promised, I explain why and take responsibility.

2. Have candid but caring conversations.
When speaking with players, I tell them the truth about their development while communicating with sensitivity, empathy and respect.

3. We do not cheat to win.
We do not dive, deliberately deceive officials or compromise our standards simply because doing so might help us win a game.

Now do the same with your other four values.

Perhaps yours are respect, commitment, courage, honesty and humility.

Perhaps they are ambition, dignity, unity, responsibility and resilience.

The particular words matter less than whether they genuinely guide your behavior.

The critical question is:

Can your players actually see those values in the way you coach?

AND WHAT ABOUT PARENTS?

There is another important part of this conversation.

The values at the heart of a youth team cannot belong only to the coach. If we genuinely believe in the player–parent–coach partnership, then parents must understand and support the values that define the team’s environment.

So, I would challenge every soccer parent to ask:

What are the core values of my child’s team?

Can you name them?

Do you know what they look like in practice?

Does your behavior on the sideline reinforce them?

If the team promotes respect, what happens when a referee makes a decision against your child?

If the team promotes resilience, what happens when your child is substituted?

If the team promotes honesty, what happens when winning requires doing something that conflicts with that value?

And perhaps the most important question for coaches and parents alike:

Are the values we claim to believe in still our values when the score is 1–1 with five minutes remaining?

Because that is when values really matter.

Core values should never simply be words printed on a website, displayed on a locker room wall or included in a club handbook.

They should be visible in our actions.

And if the young people we coach leave us as better players but not better people, perhaps we need to question what we really mean when we talk about player development.

With over 100,000 youth soccer players––both boys and girls––and more than 25,000 volunteers, the non-profit Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association (ENYYSA) stretches from Montauk Point, Long Island to the Canadian border, east of Route 81. ENYYSA encourages the healthy development of youth players, coaches, referees and administrators. All levels of soccer are offered––from intramural, travel team and premier players as well as Children With Special Needs. No child who wants to play soccer is turned away. ENYYSA is a proud member of US Soccer and US Youth Soccer. For more information, please log on to http://www.enysoccer.com/

By Tim Bradbury, Director of Coaching, Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association

Rate yourself on each statement.

5 = This is a consistent strength
1 = This is an area I need to improve

After each question, write one or two sentences explaining why you gave yourself that score.

1. Do you genuinely value your child’s learning and long-term development more than winning today’s game?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. Do you celebrate good play from both teams and model outstanding sportsmanship?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. Do you consistently praise effort, courage and improvement rather than focusing on results?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

4. Do you actively seek to learn more about the game your child plays so you can better support their development?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. After games and practices, are you able to provide unconditional support before offering advice or criticism?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

6. Does your behavior consistently model the respect, resilience and self-control you hope your child will demonstrate?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Do you avoid coaching from the sidelines, allowing your children to make their own decisions during the game?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. How well do you help your child cope with both victory and defeat with humility, perspective and resilience?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

9. Do you encourage your child to honor their commitments to teammates and coaches rather than making unnecessary excuses?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10. Do you promote a love of sport for life ahead of short-term success?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

11. When concerns arise (for example, playing time), do you communicate respectfully, calmly and with an open mind?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

12. Do you consistently show respect towards coaches, referees, opponents, teammates and other parents?

Score (1–5): ________

Why?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

By Tim Bradbury, Director of Coaching, Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association

I spend a great deal of my weekends watching youth sports. With three young children involved in soccer, basketball, baseball and lacrosse, I have the opportunity to observe a wide variety of games and sporting environments.

Because I know very little about some of these sports, I often sit quietly, simply watching—not just the players and coaches, but the parents.

Over the years, one observation has become impossible to ignore.

Far too often, winning becomes the priority, while learning slowly slips into the background.

Children as young as five or six are competing in environments where adults become emotionally invested in results rather than development. Success is measured by the scoreline instead of the progress a child makes, the confidence they build or the enjoyment they experience.

Perhaps the most concerning behavior I witness is the constant stream of instructions shouted from the sidelines.

“Pass!”
“Shoot!”
“Don’t dribble!”
“Get rid of it!”

Imagine being eight years old, trying to scan the field, recognize teammates, avoid defenders and make a decision, all while multiple adults are telling you what to do.

Decision-making is a skill. Like every other skill, it improves only when children are allowed to think for themselves.

When adults constantly solve the game for young players, they unintentionally slow down the very learning they hope to accelerate.

The best sports parents understand that their role is not to coach from the sideline.

Their role is to provide emotional support before, during and after competition.

They celebrate effort.
They applaud courage.
They encourage resilience.
They help their children love the game.

Years from now, very few children will remember the score of an Under-10 league game.

Almost all of them, however, will remember how the adults around them made them feel.

With that thought in mind, I created the following reflection tool. Rather than asking whether you are a “good” or “bad” sports parent, it simply encourages honest reflection.

None of us are perfect.

The goal is simply to become a little better for the children who love to play.

Rate yourself on each statement.

With over 100,000 youth soccer players––both boys and girls––and more than 25,000 volunteers, the non-profit Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association (ENYYSA) stretches from Montauk Point, Long Island to the Canadian border, east of Route 81. ENYYSA encourages the healthy development of youth players, coaches, referees and administrators. All levels of soccer are offered––from intramural, travel team and premier players as well as Children With Special Needs. No child who wants to play soccer is turned away. ENYYSA is a proud member of US Soccer and US Youth Soccer. For more information, please log on to http://www.enysoccer.com/

By Tim Bradbury, Director of Coaching, Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association

There is an enormous difference between watching two teams with a clearly defined style of play and a shared vision of the game, and watching a match where 22 players all seem to be playing from different scripts.

The contrast is as stark as driving along an open coastal road watching a beautiful sunset versus sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic on Interstate 95 staring at industrial smokestacks. Or, in soccer terms, it is the difference between watching a tennis match where the ball is simply returned back and forth and watching Spain at their best, combining, creating, and controlling the game through intelligent possession.

I fully appreciate that soccer is a game of opinions. Some coaches become excited watching players launch long balls toward the opposition’s goal and are horrified at the thought of a player taking more than one touch or embarking on a dribble. I simply do not see the game that way.

More importantly, I believe deeply in player development. I believe the following equation holds true:

More touches of the ball = Better learning
Possession-based soccer = More touches and more decisions
More touches = Faster player development.

Teams that value possession, combine with short passes, and penetrate intelligently create significantly more meaningful learning opportunities for every player.

I would also add another equation for coaches who genuinely prioritize development:

Attack space when it is available.
Create numerical advantages whenever possible.
If those moments do not exist, keep the ball until they do.

In other words, be patient enough to be surgical.

Small-Sided Games with Constraints

Play an enormous number of 3v3 and 4v4 games, introducing purposeful constraints that reward the behaviors you want to see.

• Every player must touch the ball during a possession before the team can score.
• Teams can score either by completing seven consecutive passes or by scoring in the goal.
• A goal only counts if it follows a two-player combination.

Full-Field Shadow Play

Shadow play can be one of the most effective methods for imprinting a style of play when delivered with clarity and energy.

• Have a clear vision for how the team should build and progress through each third of the field.
• Communicate that vision clearly and efficiently.
• Coach with enthusiasm and conviction.
• Stay true to the principles of attacking play: support, width, penetration, mobility, and creativity.

Phase Play

Phase play allows the coach to focus on the interaction between specific units of the team. One favorite example is four midfielders and two forwards attacking against a goalkeeper, back four and four midfielders. The attacking team works towards the full-sized goal while the defending team counter-attacks to mini-goals after regaining possession. Coach in the flow whenever possible, ask questions of players away from the ball, and resist the temptation to stop play too often.

Final Thoughts

Developing a style of play is not about choreographing every movement. It is about creating a shared understanding of the game. The best teams appear connected because every player recognizes similar pictures, solves problems together, and understands the principles that guide their decisions. Experiment with these coaching methods, adapt them to your players, and help your team develop a clear identity in possession and without the ball.

With over 100,000 youth soccer players––both boys and girls––and more than 25,000 volunteers, the non-profit Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association (ENYYSA) stretches from Montauk Point, Long Island to the Canadian border, east of Route 81. ENYYSA encourages the healthy development of youth players, coaches, referees and administrators. All levels of soccer are offered––from intramural, travel team and premier players as well as Children With Special Needs. No child who wants to play soccer is turned away. ENYYSA is a proud member of US Soccer and US Youth Soccer. For more information, please log on to http://www.enysoccer.com/

By Randy Vogt, Director of Public Relations, Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association

June 19, 2026-The U.S. Soccer National B License Course is in a blended format and is hosted by the Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association (ENYYSA) and the Long Island Soccer Club.

The “B” is a 6-month online and in-person course. It combines an online experience, assignments, small group meetings, independent learning and two 4-day in-person meetings. The course is designed to help coaches who work in elite-level training and playing platforms.

The course starts on July 7, in-person meetings on September 1-4 and November 1-4 at Mitchel Athletic Complex and the “B” course concludes on December 20. 

Register here.

Any questions can be directed to Eastern New York’s Director of Coaching, Tim Bradbury.

With over 100,000 youth soccer players––both boys and girls––and more than 25,000 volunteers, the non-profit Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association (ENYYSA) stretches from Montauk Point, Long Island to the Canadian border, east of Route 81. ENYYSA encourages the healthy development of youth players, coaches, referees and administrators. All levels of soccer are offered––from intramural, travel team and premier players as well as Children With Special Needs. No child who wants to play soccer is turned away. ENYYSA is a proud member of US Soccer and US Youth Soccer. For more information, please log on to http://www.enysoccer.com/

By Tim Bradbury, Director of Coaching, Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association

It is that time of year again.

The cones come out, the clipboards appear, parents suddenly become talent scouts and children begin carrying around levels of stress that would challenge many adults.

Tryout season has arrived.

Over the years, I have spent countless hours trying to reduce the anxiety surrounding tryouts. Sometimes I succeed. Often, despite everyone’s best intentions, the process still creates far too much stress, disappointment and heartache.

The reality is that we have created a system that frequently asks children to place far too much importance on a single evening or a couple of training sessions.

That makes little sense.

Many of the players attending tryouts are still years away from physical maturity. Some are early developers, some are late developers and many are simply trying to figure out how to coordinate their growing bodies. Yet we often behave as though a few hours in June can accurately predict what a player will become at 16 or 18.

It cannot.

To make matters worse, we continue to rush children into environments they may not be ready for. Players who would benefit greatly from 3v3 and 4v4 soccer are often pushed into 7v7 and 9v9 games. Clubs race toward bigger fields, bigger teams, more competition and more selection.

Faster is not always better.

In fact, it often isn’t.

Perhaps a few Club Directors might spend some time examining the approach taken by the Belgium Soccer Association. Their emphasis on development before selection is worth serious consideration.

Until then, here are a few thoughts for everyone involved.

A Few Philosophical Reminders

Tryouts Are Not a Life Sentence

At younger ages, tryouts are simply a snapshot in time.

Nothing more.

A player who is selected today may struggle tomorrow. A player who is overlooked today may flourish next year. Development is rarely linear and almost never predictable.

Learning Is Messy

Children grow at different rates.

Some have technical breakthroughs at nine. Others at 13.

Some gain confidence early. Others take years to find their voice.

The idea that every player should be evaluated against the same timeline is one of youth sports’ biggest misconceptions.

Find the Right Environment, Not the Highest Badge

Parents and coaches should focus on finding the environment that best supports development.

Not the team with the fanciest logo.

Not the league with the most letters.

Not the bumper sticker that looks best on the back of the car.

The best team is the one that gives the player the greatest opportunity to learn, grow, play and enjoy the game.

Soccer Is About More Than Soccer

Making friends matters.

Learning to communicate matters.

Developing confidence matters.

Being part of a team matters.

The social lessons children learn through sport often last far longer than the tactical lessons.

Read the Stories

Read about Michael Jordan being cut.

Read about Jamie Vardy playing non-league football.

Read about the countless athletes who experienced rejection before finding success.

Setbacks are not roadblocks. Often, they are simply detours.

Coaches Need Courage

One of the most important jobs a coach has is helping players and parents understand where they currently stand.

Those conversations require honesty.

They also require empathy.

Being truthful and being kind are not mutually exclusive.

What Good Tryouts Actually Look Like

Good tryouts should look like soccer.

Not obstacle courses.

Not relay races.

Not line drills.

Give players opportunities to play.

1v1.

2v2.

3v3.

4v4.

Let them make decisions.

Let them solve problems.

Let them show who they are as players.

At older ages, some evaluation should naturally take place in the format they actually compete in, but even then, the game itself should remain the primary teacher and evaluator.

A Few Requests for Parents

Watch from a respectful distance.

Your child is already nervous enough.

Trust me, they know this matters.

The car ride home is not the time for a detailed performance review.

No postmortem.

No analysis.

No discussion about the missed chance, poor pass or questionable decision.

Try this instead:

“I enjoyed watching you play.”

Then leave it there.

You may be surprised how powerful those five words can be.

Finally…

When the team lists come out, remember this:

Your reaction becomes part of your child’s education.

Children are always watching.

They are learning how to handle disappointment.

They are learning how to respond to adversity.

They are learning what really matters.

Long after they have forgotten which team they made at 10 years old, they will remember how the adults around them behaved.

Keep perspective.

Show empathy.

Stay calm.

And remember that the goal is not to raise elite 10-year-olds.

The goal is to raise healthy, resilient, confident young people who love the game and want to keep playing it.