By Tim Bradbury, Director of Coaching, Eastern New York Youth Soccer Association
I take great pride in leading players and teams in a holistic way. I’m fully aware that while many of them may never play professionally or in college, every one of them can become a great person who plays for life, coaches one day and grows into an active, responsible adult.
I make it a priority to learn about my players’ lives beyond the game: How they’re doing in school, how things are at home and what they enjoy or struggle with. Coaching teenagers especially means having regular conversations about how they help their families and whether they contribute positively to their home environment or stay wrapped up only in their own needs.
These conversations often begin with how they behave at practice. The challenge I present to every player is built around a few key questions:
• Can you be the player who most impacts a practice and helps create a great learning environment for everyone?
• Can you be the first one in?
• Can you be the most coachable player?
• Can you be the one who helps with equipment without being asked?
• Can you be the teammate who notices when someone is down and offers encouragement or comfort?
I work hard to help them understand that this mission—being a positive force in the group—should be their top priority. And if all 18 players embrace that mission, we will become a team capable of remarkable progress.
Another core value we consistently emphasize is respect: Respecting each other, respecting referees and respecting the parents who do so much to make training and games possible. One of the most meaningful parts of respect is simply saying, “Thank you.” I encourage players to thank teammates after practice and games, thank referees afterward and thank their parents on the ride home. I also challenge them to show appreciation by helping at home—doing one thing, however small, that supports their family.
At this time of year, it feels especially appropriate to revisit the power of saying thank you… perhaps with a few Jimmy Fallon–style thank-you notes. So, not just because it’s Christmas, Hanukkah and the holiday season, but because it’s the right thing to do, here are a few messages for the season:
Players: Thank your parents for the endless hours spent driving you to practices and games—and for trying not to shout instructions from the sidelines.
Parents: Thank your child’s coaches for their dedication to development, even if the team didn’t win quite as many games as you hoped and they haven’t yet realized your child is the next Messi.
Coaches: Thank club officials and administrators for their hard work, even when the biggest field space available barely fit a 3v3 and your practice slot was 9:00–10:30 p.m. on a Friday night.
Coaches: Thank referees for the courage it takes to show up week after week, knowing they’ll face a barrage of unnecessary commentary from adults who often haven’t kicked a ball in years, if ever.
Coaches: And thank those refs who forget to give the five-minute speech about substitution procedures, as though they’re announcing a groundbreaking discovery in renewable energy.
Coaches: Don’t forget to thank tournament organizers, especially the ones who remember we live in the Northeast, where winter arrives on schedule every year, and where “real feel” temperatures can turn your toes numb in the first five minutes of a match.
Players: And lastly, thank your parents who choose to blast loud Christmas music during the car ride home, sparing you the usual post-game performance review.
On a more somber note—and perhaps this reflects my age—there is also a need to say thank you for a few recently departed people. Especially for Paul Kontonis, who was the Cosmopolitan Junior Soccer League (CJSL) President, and was a truly great person, full of joy and love. He had a tremendous impact on so many coaches and players and will be deeply missed.
Best wishes to everyone,
Tim
